Being a Military wife is not easy, especially when you have to say goodbye to the person you love. I have had to say goodbye many times to my husband over the last 14 years.
This morning I had to say goodbye again. I knew this goodbye was coming and I was ready for it, or so I thought. I was doing good yesterday until I walked into our bedroom and saw most of his things packed and the rest waiting to be packed. That was all it took! I was a crying mess on and off for the rest of the day. I did Okay if we were out in public. Like when I went to the Dentist or when we meet some friends for dinner so they could say their goodbyes to him. But, as soon as we were in the truck or at home I was crying all over again. Last night wasn't any better. If I had slept much I would say that I cried myself to sleep, but I hardly slept at all. I cried for most of the night and as soon as the alarm went off I was crying all over again and I couldn't stop. I am surprised I had any tears left and didn't need to go get some IV fluids for dehydration with all the crying I have been doing!
He brought each of our daughters to school this morning so he could say goodbye to them. They seem to be doing okay and aren't to overly upset that he had to leave. I guess they are true *Army Brats* They have done this so many time before and know the drill.
When it was time for him to go I walked out to the car with him and didn't want to let go when I gave him a hug. He had to pretty much push me away so he could go. It was so hard to let go of him! I stood in our driveway and watched him back out and then drive away. I didn't want to go back in the house, but I finally did and of course lost it as soon as I walked in. The kids were at school and I was all alone. Thankfully I have one of the best sisters ever, I called her so I could cry to her for a while. It has become a tradition for me to call her whenever my husband is going away, she is always there to listen no matter what time of day or night. I also have some amazing friends who were willing to meet me for coffee so I didn't have to sit at home.
This will be his 8th deployment. He hasn't deployed yet, but we wont get to see him before he heads *over there*. He is heading to his new post and unit and then will deploy from there. We dont know when he will leave to start the deployment, but today started the count down until we get to see him again. Hopefully he will be able to take a R&R, we wont know that until after he is already deployed. There is a chance that he might not get to though since the unit is already deployed and he will be joining them late. I will be keeping my fingers crossed!
Even though we have been through 7 deployments before, this is the first one with me having MS. In the past I have been able to be super woman and do it all. Taking care of the kids, house, pets and everything else was no big deal. Yes, I got stressed out and hated it at times, but that is normal for and Military wife. Having MS makes everyday tasks harder than normal to do. Just going to the grocery store is exhausting for me and I have to have someone go with me. Doing normal chores around the house is more than a chore when you have MS. Everything you do takes more out of you. Stress is also a big factor with MS. Stress can make your MS symptoms worse or throw you into a relapse. Deployments are stressful and I am scared that I will have a relapse while he is away. I do have friends who will help me in a heartbeat if I need it but I am still scared!
I hope that this next year will fly by and that it will be uneventful!
It's always hard to say goodbye to you! I do love you so very much, but I always look forward to saying I'M Home!!
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